Dirty Job

Part of being a kindergarten teacher is doing the "dirty job" part without flinching.  Let's face it, when a five year old reports for their first 7-hour day of school they aren't exactly prepared for what it entails to suddenly be a "big kid."  They are usually sporting their super-hero backpack and shiny new shoes, but inside they are still just a baby, and mommy is nowhere to be found.  In her place is a somewhat stern woman who tells you you're ready for this, figure it out, you're gonna do this on your own.  Who wouldn't be intimidated.  No wonder tucked at the bottom of that brand new back pack is a second pair of undies.  Yes, for that first year, accidents abound and yes you change your own clothes and wipe your own bottom.  This is Kindergarten honey, your in the big leagues now.  And btw, wiping ones own hind end is a challenge and a skill every teacher must be willing to teach. Because when mommy dresses them in their cutest for that first day of school, you'd be surprised at how often it slips her mind to make sure they are prepared to wipe their own bottom.

I have my yucky stories and what teacher doesn't. There are the nose bleeds, the accidents, the projectile morning vomit of half digested Captain Crunch and chocolate milk (I now recognize that particular shade of gray and green in the face of a 5 year old and can get a kid to the nearest garbage can at record speed) Then there is the moment when you bend down to speak to them at their level like any good teacher does, only that's the moment that they sneeze and clean out their entire sinus cavity.

 My first year teaching one little boy would repeatedly call to me from the bathroom that he was ready to be wiped.  The first few times I would come into the bathroom, firmly decline and walk him verbally through the process.  After that I'd just reply from the other side of the door that per our previous discussion, I wasn't coming in there.  One day he continued to call me over and over.  Finally I marched to the door and safely from the opposite side told him in no uncertain terms that I would NOT wipe his bottom! He was on his own.

"But Ms. Stacy, I had an accident."

Just for this kind of issue I keep their clean clothes in the bathroom, labeled and ready to go.  They know the routine.

"Get your clothes and change, then wash your hands. Your a big boy. You can do this by yourself."

Long pause....with a sober warning tone, "Uh, Ms. Stacy...I'm tellin' you! You're gonna wanna see this. You're gonna wanna clean this floor!"

Oh god. He was right. Don't they always know...

Yea, in kindergarten sometimes we just don't make it to the potty on time.  That's why teachers keep rubber gloves in the bathroom.  That's why we've got strong stomaches...'cause it's a dirty job, but someones got to do it.